All Over but the Crying
by Sinister Seductress
Summary: Someone dies, someone says goodbye in his own way that is heart-wrenching.


All Over but the Crying

Disclaimer: I own nothing but this idea.

"No, she…she can't be…" he struggled with the words, gripping the phone with his left hand, his wife was on the other side of him, trying to comfort him."

_ "Look, I know it's hard to believe, after all that you two have been through, but believe me, she's gone. She was in a drunk driving accident, a drunk driver hit her and killed her immediately. Her mom called me to let me know…and, and even though there were certain circumstances regarding the two of you, I thought that it would be nice if you came… and I…" the sobs that were making her body shake, and sounded worse over the phone; he knew that her heart was breaking from all of this._

_ "Yeah, I'll be there. Thanks for letting me know. When's the funeral?"_

_ "In three days."_

_ "I'll be there."_

That was three days ago. Three days since he heard the news that she was dead…someone who he thought was the love of his life. He figured that it was funny how fate makes things happen.

"Spinner…." He turned around as Holly J started to walk up to him. He could tell by the expression on her face how much she was trying to hold it together. For the longest time, Jane was her only friend, and they were close, so for Holly J to lose Jane…it had to be extremely tough on her.

"How are you holding up, Holly J?" Spinner asked, as he wrapped his arms around her, doing anything in his power to calm her down, to make her happy, and make her smile. Did he love her? Yes, but as a friend. There would be enough crying today though, and he didn't want to deal with all the crying.

"Just fine, I'll doing fine. Thank you for coming, we should get going, the funeral is about to start." Holly J remarked as she drug Spinner by the hand.

The funeral was short, exactly the way that Jane would've wanted it. Spinner held it together throughout the entire ceremony, he laughed and smiled, and he couldn't help but think that it was a good thing that Emma didn't come along. If Emma had come, there would have been a lot of drama, and that wouldn't of been necessary for today.

People, who were friends with Jane, and her family, would come up and share stories about the Jane that everyone knew, and even the Jane that that person knew that nobody else did. Spinner refused to go up and talk, because he knew that if he did, then he would lose it completely. He held it together until the funeral was over, and people walked by to see the body and say their good-byes privately. As he walked up to the casket, he started to cry and rushed out of the room. Holly J tried to stop him, but it was no use, this was a problem that he would face on his own. Even after everything had gone done that summer, he knew that deep down in his heart, he loved her, and he would always love her.

He called Emma later that night, to let her know that he'd be staying in Ottawa for another day. Emma questioned him, but she understood; she had won the game, but at the same time, he really needed some time to himself before he came back home.

He was walking to her headstone with a bouquet of red roses in his left hand. He kneeled down to set the flowers down delicately, before sitting down himself. He looked up towards the sky, trying to get his thoughts together. What he wanted to say, was something that he took seriously. He didn't want to screw this up. When she came to see him before he got married, he took that as a final goodbye from someone that he loved. What he didn't expect however, was that a beautiful life and young woman would be cut short by some idiot.

"Jane…" he began, and stopped to look down at his shaking hands before he continued. "Jane, I know that the way things ended between us, they, they weren't the best. Yes, I know that I was pissed when I overheard you talking to Holly J. But do you blame me? You know damn well that if you were in my shoes, the same thing would've happened. That whole situation left a bitter taste in my mouth, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was the same for you. That's what I've always loved about you: we had more in common than most people thought. I married Emma, at first it was a mistake, but then I realised that I loved her all along, and its because I grew up with her. I hope you understand…I still love her, and I always will that's why we are married. When you came to say goodbye prior to the wedding, there was something in me that hoped that you would stop me, but you were saying goodbye. It hurt, it really did, but I was happy for you, you were making something of your life, like I always knew you would. And then this happened. I've tried to hold it together, this…this is hard. I know that you wouldn't of wanted us to cry for you, or over you, but its really hard not to Jane. It's like you're faking it, like its one last laugh, one last taunt thrown our way.

"I just wanted to let you know that I never really hated you, and that I still love you, and I always will. It's hard knowing that you're not coming to visit in Toronto and share you're college experiences, but life happens. I love you Jane…and I'll see you again someday." Tears were silently rolling down his face while he was talking, but he brushed them off. He knew that there would be many more tears. Even though this was the act of saying goodbye, it really wasn't goodbye.

As he stood up and walked to his car, there was a soft breeze that slightly lifted the bottom of his shirt. He brushed the tears away as he turned around and looked back at the headstone and smiled a smile that he knew that she loved so much. It was like she was telling him that she was ok, and he believed that.

Keeping the smile on his face he turned around and started back towards his car and glanced up at the sky.

"Thank you, Jane."


End file.
